Introducing “Crowded Loneliness”

How many of you have heard the phrase: “lonely in a crowded room?” It’s the feeling of being surrounded by people, but also feeling like you are isolated from others. In a psychological mindset, this feeling is called: emotional loneliness. This is a feeling of being unseen, unknown, or unsupported. As we walk through the upcoming holiday seasons, with Thanksgiving and Christmas, being around the corner, loneliness will be more present for a lot of people. How do we navigate these emotions? What does the Bible say about emotional loneliness? These are the questions I hope to answer in our new series that I’m calling: “Crowded Loneliness.”

My goal for this series is help us wrestle with the feelings that come up with emotional loneliness and to see how Christ can help use overcome them.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: When you hear loneliness, what emotions come to your mind? What have your experiences been with loneliness?

Elijah’s Reprieve

The first passage I want to dig into is 1 Kings 19:10 to talk about how loneliness can make us feel sorry for ourselves.

1 Kings 19:10 (NLT): Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed everyone one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

Elijah’s been on the run from Jezebel after taking down the prophets of Baal. Jezebel put out the threat to have Elijah killed. Elijah was so terrified and panicked from this threat that he wished for his own death. However, he didn’t pass away. He rested. He got some bread and water. He received some motivation from God to continue forward. He found protection at Mount Sinai, and this is where he find Elijah. One of the resolutions that God guided Elijah is to find his replacement.

However, what did Elijah feel about his next task being to find his replacement? There may have been some relief, knowing that Elijah would not be alone. There may have been some hesitation or fear, trying to protect Elisha from potential danger. I want to look at what Elijah said here: “I am the only one left.”

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: When you read Elijah saying this, knowing the context of 1 Kings 19, what do you take away from it?

Elijah’s Battle with Loneliness

Elijah felt fatigued. Elijah felt alone. Elijah wasn’t seeing the results of following God’s command. What he will learn later is that God had spared seven thousand people that didn’t commit to following Baal or his prophets, which would help preserve God’s people and the ability to continue spreading the message of God’s kingdom.

Elijah felt like he was the only one left to fight for Yahweh. He knew he was isolated, unprotected, and the next in line to be killed. His isolation canceled out any hope he had for the future. Without any kind of support, he stays alone with his doubts that are loud are unable to quiet down. These doubts tend to cancel out any positive notion of God, His relationship with us, or His promises for us.

Now, Elijah doesn’t know about the 7,000 people that were spared. Had he known, would his mindset have changed? It’s hard to say, but it teaches us something as well. We can find despair and loneliness when we lean in on situations based on what we think we know. We can get too inside our head and believe the assumptions we feel as truth, often because our emotions are so intense that they dominate our minds. When we get to this point of despair and isolation, we need to lean on God. We need to share things that are overwhelming our minds to discern whether or not they need to take weight in our minds. When we do this, we can find out that some of the things in our minds are untrue. We can work towards leaning to unlearn those things and create a path to a stronger relationship with God. While it might not be with another person, walking alongside God in the pits of isolation is a great starting place to lead us out of a pit of isolation.

Another important thing for us to recognize is that Elijah was able to find a place of quiet, peace, and silence so that he could feel how close God is. Often our thoughts get so loud that we can only live out a place of fear, anxiety, and panic. However, God’s voice tends to be the quietest and clearest one we hear. We can be in a loud, crowded environment, but God’s voice breaks through the static and impacts us more directly than any other voice. In these quiet places, we can connect with God and learn more about what it means to live a godly life. Jesus often broke away from the ground to find alone time with God. It’s a sign that isolation can be a positive thing. How? We are not alone in a moment with God. We use this time to share the highs and lows with God. We learn about what parts of life that works for us and what doesn’t. We rest, recharge, and re-center.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: What important things did you learn about in Elijah’s journey?

Not Our Emotions

What do we learn from Elijah’s wrestling with loneliness? The feelings that lead to loneliness can come from a place of assumption, and not truth. While we can feel like we don’t belong in our community, we know that there are people that care for us. However, our minds can lead us to believe: “No one cares. No one wants us around. It’s better just to hide away.” Our feelings don’t dictate our reality. Our feelings are often a response to boundaries that we feel were crossed. Elijah may have felt like he was betrayed, going down a path of no return. Yet, God was with him. God pulled him away from his situation to a place of rest and peace so that the feelings can be felt and we can recenter. God didn’t send him forward on his own. God called him to find others to walk this journey alongside him. God didn’t want Elijah to sit and succumb to his feelings, but to feel those things and head forward. We can feel our feelings, find a place of rest and recovery, and head forward. We find our community, and it will be often people that we already have around us.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: What does your experience with loneliness resonate with Elijah? How do you overcome those feelings and recognize that we don’t need to succumb to them?

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