Jealous Feelings || Sins of the World #8

Jealousy Doesn’t Look Good

Welcome back to “Sins of the World.” I’m taking a deeper dive into the words of Galatians 5:19-21 to talk about what we need to avoid and how they can lead us to the Fruits of the Spirit. In Part 7, we talked about quarreling, which Paul defined as a contentious rivalry that fractures fellowship. It’s rooted in competition and battling. We landed in 2 Corinthians 12:20 to see how they managed quarreling. They had issues of division, immorality, and the misuse of spiritual gifts. Their divisions came from figuring out they affiliated themselves with, which is something that is more active in our world now more than ever. We recognized that the basics of find unity is recognized through feeding the hungry, giving water to the thirsty, welcoming the stranger, clothing the naked, visiting the imprisoned and the sick. We all put our skills and gifts together and we can work to find unity quicker rather than later.

In Part 8, we are looking at jealousy. The ten commandments stated that we should be jealous of our neighbor’s possessions and life, but social media pushes the evil of comparison in our lives. Jealousy can breed contempt, but God wants us to lead through being content and grateful.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How has jealousy shown in your life? How have you overcame the feelings of jealousy?

Social Media Envy

The Greek word that Paul uses for jealousy is zelos (ZAY-los). It’s gathers two concepts into one term: fervent devotion or, as we’ll talk about, corrosive envy. Foundationally, it describes an intense heart from the heart toward a person, cause, or possession. The jealous rivalry is what created the divisions in the Corinth church. Jealousy is destructive, and resists how we can bring God’s kingdom down to earth.

Jealousy can destroy relationships, self-image, and more. It breakdowns the unity of community and turns people against each other out of a desire of competition and rivalry. It resists against God’s goals of bringing love and mercy to the world. Anymore, we see jealousy moreso through social media. We see the highlights of someone’s job, vacation, relationships, purchases. We become so fixated on what others have that we see our lives as purposeless, meaningless, and lacking. The more we allow comparison to feed into how we view each other, the more we see the dangers of jealousy rise up.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: What impact has social media had on your life? Do you find yourself more jealous than you were before?

Jealousy is Not Successful

How did the early church manage their jealousies? What can they teach us today? Let’s find out in James 3:14

AMP – But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be arrogant, and [as a result] be in defiance of the truth.

NRSVUE – But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be arrogant and lie about the truth.

VOICE – If you heart is one that bleeds dark streams of jealousy and selfishness, do not be so proud that you ignore your depraved state.

Bitter jealousy corrodes fellowship and turns another’s blessing, influence, or recognition into a place of resentment. Selfish ambition seeks prominence, control, or personal advantages rather than the good of Christ’s people. Because the heart, biblically, directs our thoughts, desires, and actions, this hidden rivalry eventually damages the life of the church and the relationships within it. We are called, as Christians, to a place of humility. No one should view jealousy as a sign of strength, wisdom or discernment. Any person can gain influence through manipulation and rivalry, yet this type of success cannot be connected to godly wisdom. The truth exposes our sinful motives and calls for truthful repentance before God.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Jealousy doesn’t lead us to God, but it’s through humility that we connect with God’s wisdom and kindness. How do you transition from jealousy and humility?

Working Through a Jealous Mindset

I think James points out something important for jealousy that we don’t talk about much. Jealousy turn’s another person’s blessing, influence, or recognition into a reason for resentment. Instead of lifting each other up, we see opportunities like this to tear each other down. Often for the reason of: “Man, I wish that was me.” Maybe also that person has also been really toxic toward you, either presently or in the past. Then that can shift your mindset towards, “Why them of all people?” Again, we jealousy breed one thing altogether: comparison.

There’s an actual theory behind all this, which I will link to at the end. It’s called the social comparison theory, where people determine their own social and person worth based on how thye compare to others. For some people, comparison can be helpful when they view in a case of measuring professional development or motivation. This can lead to a more positive self-image, but it requires more discipline to ensure it’s not affecting you physically. However, comparison can also promote judgmental, biased, and rivarlrous attitudes. Comparison starts to make us feel bad when we only look at the foundations of certain traits. Social media impacts us through diminishing our self-esteem and potentially contributes to depression.

We’ll look at the highlights of others or the high moments of someone’s success and immediately go to questioning our own successes. We compare the rewards and tell ourselves that we weren’t good enough to receive the award or have done enough to receive similar recognition. We spend a lot of time looking down upon ourselves or looking at others with disdain and disgust. We should never tear ourselves or others down at the hand of their success. There’s caveats to this, I know, and I’ll on them shortly. Before that, this needs to be said: there is not another you in this world. Do not put yourself on the same pedestal as others because you are not walking their path. You are not living their life. You are living your life. It may not have been your chosen path. It may not have happened how you wanted. It is where you are, and I encourage and challenge you to seek gratitude in that moment. You may not have received the recognition you rightly deserve, but you are showing up and showing out each and everyday. You are putting in the effort, the work, the energy, and deserve it. The world may not see, but God does. God wants you to still do the effort and work, regardless of any awards you get. They want you to celebrate your neighbor, even in the relationship isn’t the best. Don’t do it out of social obligation, but out of compassion and love.

Now, there’s a difference between celebrating someone’s moment who earned it and celebrating someone’s moment who manipulated the system. The systems of the world are broken, often imbued with racial injustices, nepotism, biases, and more. People are so often in it for themselves, that they don’t care who they hurt along the way. You can still be respectful towards them, but you cannot go out and treat them wrongly. They are still human at the end of the day. However, you can definitely work towards exposing the injustices and corruptions within the system. You can point out how the people manipulated the system. You can be a voice to guide people into writing wrongs that were done. You can be the hands and feet to create a new system that can create an equal value for all people and show that a fair evaluation of skills and talents are due for a recognition and things along that line. At the end of the day, you can hate someone for what they did, but you still need to treat them with respect.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Jealousy can lead to anger and disdain in our harts. How have you worked out the feelings of jealousy in the past? How has it got you to this point in life?

Working Through Jealousy

I want to move into a bigger conversation about the emotions that come with jealousy, landing in Proverbs 27:4.

AMP – Wrath is cruel and anger is an overwhelming flood, But who is able to endure and stand before [the sin of] jealousy?

NRSVUE – Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who is able to stand before jealousy?

VOICE – Wrath is fierce and anger is a tidal wave of fury, but who of us can stand up against jealousy?

The wrath that we deal becomes harsh, vindictive, and destructive. This type of wrath harms others and reveals a sinful heart instead of leading in righteousness. Anger can unless forces of judgment, harmful speech, and destructible relationships. Scripture calls us to put away the wrath and resist to acting on the anger. Jealously can work more quietly than anger and wrath, feeding resentment against another. Love rejects this jealousy and seeks another’s good. Jealousy turns against God’s neighbor and God’s wisdom.

We need to stray away from the feelings of destruction that come with jealousy. Our goal should never be to tear someone down, but lift up. When we set our minds on a smear campaign of someone, we only see destruction ahead of us. Often, it’s destruction for ourselves. We also find senseless destruction for those that it effected. Jealousy is destructive and cruel. Our anger gets in the way of that too. Often removing the paths that allow us to process and think before we do or say something. When we lead by anger, we will say and do things that intentionally or unintentionally cause harm to someone. We will seek to hurt, rather than to love. God doesn’t want us to do that. God wants us to lift up our neighbors, leading with love and compassion. Don’t let jealousy diminish your identity. Let it fall away. Let love take over.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How can you sit in your feelings of jealousy? How can you replace your jealous feelings with ones of love and compassion?