Introducing “Find a Friend”
It’s important that we do life with others. The reality of our world today pushes through the concept of individualism. The belief that we don’t need anyone else to find progress in life is something that is filled with struggle and anxiety. As a Christian, we are taught that we are not meant to live life by ourselves. Not only are we called to have a right relationship with God, but we are called to surround ourselves with people that will love us, care for us, encourage us, and correct us when we need it.
The goal of this series is to highlight important parts of friends, why we need friends and community, and how we can maintain these friendships in our society today.
In the Last Part
In Part 3, we looked at how we can have tough conversation with our friends and still have quality relationships. True friends are ones who will share their concerns with you through loving words and actions so that you can be the best version of you possible. These rebukes (verbal confrontations that aims for change) comes from the love and care for your friend to ensure they are not harming themselves. You don’t share these for your own benefit, but to extend compassion to others. It can end relationships or create discomfort, but the goal is to reconcile and transform the relationship for all people.
A Self-Giving Sacrifice
Today, I want to dive into the self-sacrificial love that Jesus modeled to the world. This type of self-sacrificial love is what we are called to reflect to our neighbor. Let’s start our conversation in John 15:13, which says:
NASB – Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends.
NRSVUE – No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
VOICE – There is no greater way to love than to give your life for your friends.
Jesus shows us that self-giving love is the highest measure of what love should look like. The love He is talking about is what would be shared as He hangs on the cross. Jesus gave Himself willingly to be the true Passover Lamb. He bore the sin of humanity. He laid down His life to obey the will of God and for the salvation of us. Jesus called those that obeyed God His friends because He shared with them God’s will. Humanity was often in rebellion against God because of our sinful behavior, but Christ’s sacrifice brought humanity into a reconciled relationship with God.
REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: When you think about self-giving love, what does that look like in your life?
Our Self-Giving Love in a Selfish World
The type of love Jesus describes in the Greek is agapé (ah-GAH-pay). Ironically, with how we understand love, it doesn’t talk about a romantic love and is rarely used in terms of natural affection. Agape love is a holy self-giving disposition that comes from God, shown through Jesus, and gifted in us through the Holy Spirit.
Understanding God’s Self-Sacrificial Love
Scripture shows us this love as everlasting, powerful, and motivation to love others. It’s within the hearts of believer’s through the reception of the Holy Spirit, and shown ultimately at the cross. There is nothing that can separate followers from it. Jesus defined our love as Christians in John 13:34, “Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.” A reminder to us that we are to reflect the same love Christ shares to all people that we meet. Everything we say, think, and do in this world is grounded in this self-sacrificial love.
Sharing this Love Today
What does this look like for us? In a literal mindset, it’s being ready to surrender your own physical life for another if absolutely necessary. It’s the mindset of taking a bullet for someone if needed. I obviously pray that no one ever has to be put in that situation, but in a world like ours – it does happen. In those situations, or any situation, we need to be prepared and willing to protect our family, friends, and neighbors. On a more daily perspective, we must live a life that honors what it means to help out those around us, even when it means that we must sacrifice.
How this happens is through studying Christ’s ministry, offering yourself to God, and reject selfishness. The goal is to reflect the life of Christ into our daily life. This comes from studying His ministry and teachings during His lifetime and see what we need to learn and avoid in our lifetime. It’s important to remember that some of the direct commands are for their time in history regarding their cultural, social, and political ideologies. They may not apply to us directly today, but we can still understand the intent behind those commands and work to create a correlation into what it means for us today. With that, we can offer ourselves to God as a “living sacrifice.” We go out and do what He will even when it may cause us to sacrifice something, whether it be our time and resources. Now this does not mean give away things that we need to live, but it’s a giving away of the excess. It’s sacrificing an extra cup of coffee to help someone obtain a meal, pay for rent or utilities, or meet a need in some capacity. I know it’s cliche to use that metaphor, but it’s still valid. If we really sat down and asked ourselves, “Do I need this Starbucks today,” the answer is most likely no. We work towards removing our selfish ambitions and towards humility. This keeps us from putting us at the center of the universe and opens our eyes to the needs of those around us. It’s a way that keeps us humble and allows us to put the needs of others ahead of our own.
Sacrificial Your Time and Attention
Self-sacrificial love happens through time and attention. It could be interuppting your schedule to take someone to the store or to help them clean. It could be meeting for coffee or having a phone call while someone shares the hurts they’ve been carrying. It could also be volunteering someone to take care of the small tasks that keeps the normal course of business running. Changing your schedule can be difficult in a few different ways depending on the person, but when the end goal is to care for your neighbors and love on them in ways that they need – it can be so worth the resistance.
Self-Sacrificing Your Generosity
Give financially until you can feel it. Trust God to supply it. I want to spend some time on this carefully because I feel the church can push people into financial uncertainty as a result. I know there’s the story of the rich, young ruler where Jesus tells him that if he truly wants to perfectly* follow Jesus, he would sell his possessions and give it to the poor. This is not to be taken literally. It’s a call to attention to see if we are enslaved to our possessions. For example, if someone needed a TV for some reason. Would you sacrifice yours for them? I look at my TV and think: “It may be difficult, but it’s not impossible. I’d to make some adjustments with my Switch and when I watch TV-only stuff, but it’s not impossible.” I’m not so attached to my TV that I would refuse getting rid of it. This is the mindset here. Give where you can, until you feel the hardships of giving. It’s not digging into your necessities, but it’s detaching yourself from your excess.
Self-Sacrificing Your Reputation
Stand with someone, even if it risks social backlash. This can be extremely difficult, especially giving our social media centric culture. Everything is a tweet, a post, or a live away from ruining someone’s career, relationship, family, and more. While it’s helpful for accountability, it can also be harmful if not enough research and support is done on it. Christians are called to stand with those that have been pushed out in the margins. For those that are innocent or who have been done wrong, we are called to stand with them. To stay focused on voicing justice for those that are being harmed by unjust systems and movements. Christians are called to speak truth at all times in love. This mean with dehumanize those around us that we don’t agree with. It means we have hard conversations with people on the grounds of respect and love. If the conversation cannot happen simply with those things, we can also include a third party that can help facilitate these conversations. We don’t gossip. No deserves to have their name dragged through the mud, no matter what the circumstance. We can to protect our neighbors at our own expense, standing with people as Jesus did.
REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Where in your life can you self-sacrifice? What would that look like for you?
Let’s Wrap This Up
Today, we talked about the self-sacrificial love that God provides, Jesus shared, and the Holy Spirit instills between us. For us, this happens is through studying Christ’s ministry, offering yourself to God, and reject selfishness. We find can find self-sacrificial routes through our time and attention, or generosity, and our reputation. The goal is to be able to sacrifice our own excess for the betterment of our neighbors.
Don’t forget to like (with the star or the thumbs up), comment, and share the blog. All this helps share the word of God to those around us! Until then, stay blessed!
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