How Close Was God? || Where the Hurt Lives #6

The Distance Feel Far

Welcome back to “Where the Hurt Lives”. We’re taking an emotional look what it means to grieve, based on my own unique grieving experiencing over the loss of a past friendship. In Part 5, we looked at the fear of future, using 1 Kings 19:4 as our foundational verse. Elijah was fleeing his home for his life after receiving a nasty threat from Jezebel. The emotions, adrenaline, stress, anxiety, and all the emotions were very high for Elijah. So high – that he thought the best reprieve was death, asking God to take his own life. We shifted to talk about the seriousness of suicidal ideations and the need to focus on the present instead of the fearful future. When we do, and do it at a pace that’s comfortable for us, we find that the future may not be as fearful as our nervous system thought it would be. (Also, since I didn’t mention it in the last part, Elijah’s story has a happy ending. A few verses later, Elijah rested and got some food and felt God’s presence with him to go back and stand his ground. The perks of a good nap and meal.)

In Part 6, we’re look at feeling distant from God. When stress is high and chaos surrounds us, believers often ask the question: “Where are you God?” We feel like our struggles are a punishment for something that we did wrong, or that God did this just to see us suffer. That’s not it though, and I believe we’ll see this through Habakkuk 1:2-4.

The Pleas to End Evil

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Think back to your stressful moments. Have you ever cried out, asking God why are you dealing with this? How did that make you feel? How did it change your view of God?

2 God, how long do I have to cry our for help before you listen? How many times do I have to yell, “Help! Murder! Police!” before you come to the rescue?

3 Why do you force me to look at evil, stare trouble in the face day after day? Anarchy and violence break out, quarrels and fights all over the place.

4 Law and order fall to pieces. Justice is a joke. The wicked have the righteous hamstrung and stand justice on its head.

Habakkuk has had enough. He feels stranded. He feels alone. He feels forced to suffer through the chaos that he’s witnesses, knowing that the things of the world aren’t fixing things. We don’t know how long Habakkuk has felt like this, but the frustration, the plea, and the strife is felt. Let’s look deeper at verse 2 to understand his emotional mindset.

Habakkuk has been in this moment of stress for a bit, asking for both a personal and community move from God to fix things. He knows his relationship with God, and that God’s covenantal love is based on His promises and faithfulness. The feeling of being unheard by God can be viewed as a test of faith, like we see with both David and Elijah. The silence is a challenge to us to trust in God’s timing and wisdom, even when they are not immediate. The yells that Habakkuk shouts refers to the social injustice and moral decay happening in Judah at the time. Habakkuk is calling for God to share His justice and act against the wickedness he sees. He’s wrestling as we would: “How is God a protector, when all around me is suffering?” God is known as a deliverer, and Habakkuk is waiting for rescue from this wickedness.

Let’s look at what Habakkuk is witnessing:

• Watching anarchy and violence break out.
• The justice system falling apart.
• The manipulation of the systems towards the wicked.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: What would feel like if you were in Habakkuk? How does the struggles that we see today connect to the pleas that Habakkuk shares?

God Was Close the Whole Time

We may read this and go, “This is sounds too biblical.” At least that was my first thought, but the more I sit with this, the more I see our own society, at least here in America. There are constant resistance movements from different legislative decisions from the different wars we’ve started and are involved in, decisions being made on a national level that seems to benefit the wealthy and harm the general public, the rising costs of living with no solution being developed from the public perspective, the constant health outbreaks that have happened as a direct result of government elimination of programs, and the list continues. Honestly, that’s just things that we’ve seen THIS YEAR. Let’s think back: COVID, Black Lives Matter movements, January 6^th insurrection, housing crises, and the two impeachments and 34 felony indictments of our current president. We see people being deported, harassed, bullied and abused by ICE. We see people losing jobs and benefits due to cut of certain benefits and the rise of OpenAI usage in consumer capitalism.

Most believers today can look at ALL of this, and ask: “God, where are you?” Why isn’t God coming to us to intercede? Why isn’t God coming down to remove the evil that we’re facing? The truth is – I don’t know. None of us do. What I believe is that God leaves us empowered to do try and right these wrongs. Ultimate, God will guide us to the ultimate victory, and an eternal place where none of this will be relevant for us anymore. However, we aren’t there yet. We don’t know when that will be. So, we must go to work. We, personally, need to communicate with God to see how we can use our gifts, talents, and treasures to make an impact in this world. To figure out how to create just systems for all people, to create equal right for all groups of humans, and to create healthy plans of sustainable living.

The usage of my gifts, talents, and treasures came to light in my own grief, learning how to move part this relationship. What I was going to do is learn from my mistakes, creating separating from arguments that did not directly involve me. What I needed to do was work towards discerning healthier boundaries in the middle of the conflict. I had to not doubt or feel the shame and regret of the events that happened for a long period of time, working to recognize that “what happened, happened. It sucked. We move on.” We learn, we grow, and adapt. Now, it did feel like I was on my own in this. There were too many people involved in the conflict, and it was a lot to explain to a third-party with ease. I was deep in work at that, so it made it harder to separate and talk to my therapist as well. The overwhelm and weight of everything made it difficult to talk to God. There was no sight of respite, so like Habakkuk – I asked: “Where are you, God?” However, God was with me. God set the path for me. It may not have been what I wanted, but I believe this path created the greatest Good for me.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: When have you felt like that? God’s answers may not have been what you wanted them to be, but it did work out. How do those situations look to you both in beginning and as of now?