Limping Into a New Normal || Where the Hurt Lives #7 (FINALE)

Returning to Our New “Normal”

Welcome to the finale of “Where the Hurt Lives.” This has been a series were we’ve taken an emotional look at what it means to grieve, based on my own unique grieving over the loss of a past friendship. It Part 6, we looked at what it meant to feel distant from God, using Habakkuk 1:2-4 as our focus passage. Habakkuk is witnesses anarchy, chaos, and evil overtake all parts of society and the justice system that he knew, fall apart. He wants to see God fulfill the promises of His covenantal relationship and come back to rescue him from this chaos. For me, I watched a close friends – one that I trusted with secrets, hopes, fears – walk away from our friendship. It hurt. It scared me. It panicked me. However, through this, I found God was closer than ever before. He was there to guide my steps, utilizing my own gifts and skills to move forward in life.

In Part 7, we wrap up by talking about integration. We feel through all the emotions that grief hands us, and we’re ready to get back into our “normal” live. What does that look like? How can that even happen? I’m going to land us in Genesis 32:22-32 to talk about how it happened for me.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: When you were ready to attempt normalcy again, did you feel prepared? How did you navigate the residual affects of grief?

22 But during the night he got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants, and his eleven children and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.

23 He got them safely across the brook along with all his possessions.

24 But Jacob stayed behind by himself, and a man stayed with him until daybreak.

25 When the man saw that he could get the best of Jacob as they wrestled, he deliberately thew Jacob’s hip out of pocket.

26 The man said, “Let me go; its daybreak. Jacob said, “I’m not letting you go ‘til you bless me.”

27 The man said, “What’s your name?” He answered, “Jacob.”

28 The man said, “But no longer. Your name is no longer Jacob. From now on it’s Israel (God-Wrestler); you’ve wrestled with God and you’ve come through.”

29 Jacob asked, “And what’s your name?” The man said, “Why do you want to know my name?” And then, right then and there, he blessed him.

30 Jacob named the place Peniel (God’s Face) because, he said, “I saw God face-to-face and lived to tell the story!”

31 The sun rose upon him as he passed Peniel, limping because of his hip.

32 This is why Israelites to this day don’t eat the hip muscles; because Jacob’s hip was thrown out of joint.

What an interesting story, right? Jacob gets his family and possessions over to safety, away from his brother’s potential fight. He lurks back ready, and decides to to attack this random man. There’s no rhyme or reason as far as we knew, but Jacob took Him on. The man got the better of him, by throwing Jacob’s hip out of pocket. Jacob continued the fight with one request: “Bless me.” He learns that he wrestled with God, and then the fight ends. Jacob moves forward, limping.

Our stress feels like that at times, right? We come out of it victorious, but limping. We can get through our grief and learn how to manage it, but the wound that created may always be there, or at least linger for a while. Let’s learn more about why the hip and the limp.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Why do you think the hip was attacked? How would you feel after that battle, especially coming out of it with a limp?

Pain Turning Into a Blessing

This interaction would be what we would call a theophany, which is a physical encounter with God. The inability of being able to overpower Jacob, shows how tough and determined Jacob was. These things became defining factors in Jacob’s life. Jacob has long struggled with both God and humans, including Esau (his brother), Laban (his uncle), and now this divine human.

Now the striking of the hip was both literal and symbolic. Physically, we know it resulted in a limp. Symbolically, it resulted in a turning point. Jacob’s self-reliance was challenged, and now he leans more on God. The hip socket is a vulnerable point, and it showed God’s power and authority over Jacob. This moment of weakness became a precursor to Jacob’s transformation and blessing. This physical ailment will be a constant reminder of this encounter with God. His new identity will show his new status as father of the nation. The struggles that Jacob had, shows the future struggles of the Israelites.

The hip was a vulnerable point of the body, and the damage that was caused there would be one that is noticeable and would affect his everyday life. Grief does the same thing. Grief shows us in the most precarious of circumstances. It could be a song, a memory, a movie, even a casual conversation that can trigger our brain to have a rush of everything that you’re grieving over. I felt that. There’s a time when music, like the Hamilton soundtrack, or a meme, or something like that would come up and it just rushes through everything that we been through. It’s difficult to not let those moments pull us down into our feelings. It’s okay to reflect though, but we can’t stay there. The past is just that, the past. We can’t change it. We can’t time travel. So all we can do is embrace it. To understand why we feeling these things. To comprehend our new realities and to be able to walk away with a blessing, in a way. The reason I say that is because grief can pull us deep into depression. It pulls us into isolation, loneliness, and potentially into suicidality. These harsh realities, and I encourage you to please seek help, where and if possible to discuss these feelings that are weighing heavy on you. Reach out to your local hot line, or speak with your closest safe person. These limps that we carry are ones that we may not have to carry alone. When we can understand our grief, feel through our emotions, and be able to work towards integration, we can embrace this a blessing. It’s something that we can truly be grateful for, and attempt to create a path to help others who are wrestling these same things.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Can you reflect on your grief and see where there were moments of blessings? They don’t have to be massive, but I’m sure they were present.

Living With a Limp

Before we wrap-up, I want to touch more on the limp that Jacob left with, because I think this will be important to see how we move forward while in pain.

The limp was a way for Jacob to remember this encounter with God. It represented his weakness and the transformative power of God’s touch. It represented both a struggle and a blessing, and it shows us the concept of God’s strength showing through our weaknesses, which is a main focus of Paul’s teachings.

The Hebrew word the author used for limp is tsala (tseh-Lah). It describes the idea of limping, being crippled, or rendered lame. Jacob’s limp was a disadvantage that turned into a testimony. We see where these limps connects with the broader messianic hope. Jesus fulfilled them, creating a space of inclusion in the kingdom. Keeping a true faith can lead to visible scars. Grief leaves those scars in our lives. They can leave a hole where the close person we had in our heart. There’s an emptiness that we can’t fill, or that we try to fill but can never fill it perfectly. However, these holes tends to get smaller over time. There was a time where this hole in my heart didn’t show, and then it broke open when I had a chance to sit and comprehend the reality of everything that is going on. As time has go on, reflections were made, conversations were had, and through this series – closure has been found. This series has truly brought closure to a story, to hurts, and to a pain that I didn’t think would ever been stopped. It’s now time to integrate myself back into the society, meaning to integrate my story back into my life, and be willing to build relationships again. They won’t be the same as before, but that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be. God will make it new, and all I can to is embrace the newness.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Our limps tell our story. What limp do you want to share?