Proverbs 17:9

NASB – One who conceals an offense seeks love, But one who repeats a matter separates close friends

NLT – Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. 

VOICE – Those who forgive faults foster love, but those who repeatedly recall them to ruin relationships. 

Forgiveness and Unity

Forgiveness and discretion are important in maintaining relationships. What goes on in a personal relationship should be handled in private when possible, or with trusted third-part support when needed, or with proper third-party help. In the bible, community and family were a cornerstone of daily life, and maintaining the harmony was crucial. Unnecessarily publicizing these offenses are not about ignoring them, but about not dwelling on the minor grievances. This connects to the teaching of Jesus where we need to forgive “seventy times seven times.” (Matthew 18:21-22) The number was used to show an absurdly high amount of times to forgive, so that we make it a consistent practice. 

However, we shouldn’t gossip and constantly bring up past wrongs. In the ancient Near East, honor and shame were major social dynamics. Bringing up these offenses may lead to public shame and division, which would disrupt the social fabric. This can lead to bitterness and division, which is the opposite of the hoped-for outcome of truth, accountability, and restoration when possible.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Has anyone brought up your past sins, either small or large, before? How did it make you feel? How did you respond?

Creating Unity Through Forward Movement

United, we are stronger. Divided, we are weak. This was always something that I heard from politicians and government officials. A way to bring us together in order to provide for the greater good. However, modern U.S. politics has tended to lean towards a public reality TV show. Anymore, what we hear reported is about policies and mandates that tend to benefit the politicians and officials that we’ve elected instead of the greater good. Plus, we also hear about all the offenses, both small and large, all the time. It often distracts us from the true issues that tend to affect us. 

We need to start holding each other accountable, both those we elect and the general public. We need to get back to the place of truly working towards helping each other. To focus less on the drama and focus more on how we can love and care for each other. The past should be remembered truthfully, and not used to weaponize, shame, or control, regardless of what happened. Our past leads us to where we are, and we can still be in that position or we can learn from it and move forward. Jesus wants us to not ignore the past, because we need to name the harm and damages that occur, but also wants us to forgive and move forward so that we can start working towards the greater good. 

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How can we move past our grievances and work towards caring for and loving each other?