Proverbs 28:13

AMP – He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But whoever confesses and turns away from his sins will find compassion and mercy.

NRSVUE – No one who conceals transgressions will prosper, but one who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

VOICE – Whoever tries to hide his sins will not succeed, but the one who confesses his sins and leaves them behind will find mercy.

Better to Confess Than to Conceal

Sin still is ever-present in the eyes of God, now matter how much we attempt to hide it. Concealment often produces a deeper rebellion against the commands of God. It interrupts our relationship with God, and drains us from a successful life led by God. Sinners are called to acknowledge the guilt without any excuses and turn away from our sinful decisions. Confession acknowledges our past and moves us towards a place where we move away from it. God doesn’t withhold mercy from those that turn away from their sinful paths. God stays true to His promise to forgive and cleanse us, leading to a place of transformation and reconciliation.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Do you feel like it’s difficult to confession your sins, even to God?

The Struggle With Concealment

The concealment is a very real thing that I think we need to talk about today. First, let’s look at what the author of Proverbs described by conceal. To conceal is the Hebrew verb kacah (kaw-saw’). This word covers a variety of topics, but they unify under one concept: something hidden from sight by a provided layer. Proverbs uses the topic to describe covering up sin. However, we can recognize that denying our past doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. It’s why God’s mercy is so important because, through Him, the sin is forgiven and forgotten. On a bigger picture, it’s a call for us to focus on repentance and discrete restoration rather than gossip.

Unfortunately, we often keep that behavior to ourselves. Society is very quick to judge us over our past. It takes away relationships, opportunities, and purpose of our lives. Instead of facing those potential stresses and troubles, we hold onto the sins that have weighed us down for many years. However, internalizing sins and stress can create issues within ourselves both physically and psychologically. Internalizing our stress can lead to things like anxiety, depression, different medical conditions, and even, potentially, and earlier death. It can lead to loneliness. Internalizing leads us to separate ourselves, both physically and mentally. When you internalize, you try to keep things kosher in the short-term, but in the long-term, you create burnout, exhaustion, resentment, and more.

When we look at this from a bigger, biblical perspective, we recognize that concealment doesn’t allow us a place to love our neighbors in the same way God loves us. When we internalize, we try to keep the peace. However, it builds up inside of us. The more that chaos builds up, the more our relationships separate. We struggle to have these tough conversations, to vocalize our concerns and inner emotions because they are uncomfortable, can create arguments/heated discussions, and can terminate situations or relationships. These conversations can come across as attacks, and can become personal, even if they weren’t intended to be that way. We become hypervigilant, hypersensitive, and instead of working through these situations, we avoid them.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Do you internalize your stress? If so, why do you do it? How does it make you feel?

Humility Matters

So what do we do? Let’s first look at Luke 18:14 to obtain that answer.

AMP – I tell you, this man went to his home justified [forgiven of the guilt of sin and placed in right standing with God] rather than the other man; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself [forsaking self-righteous pride] will be exalted.”

NRSVUE – I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other, for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.”

VOICE – Now imagine these two men walking back down the road to their homes. Listen, it’s the tax collector who walks home clean before God, and the Pharisee, because whoever lifts himself up will be put down and whoever takes a humble place will be lifted up.

God opposes pride and can expose the emptiness of every claim of righteousness outside of His own. The pride of the Pharisee’s got in the way of their relationship with God, showing that their pride comes before their own downfall. God wants us to be in relationship with Him through repentance and faith.

The goal is to release those things that reside in our hearts. The sin that keeps us separated from God and built a barrier between Him and our blessings. How do we internalize less? How do we live in a way that authentically best shares our emotions? I want to use the advice from Psychology Today to talk about what this can look like.

Breaking Down the Walls

First, names the fears you have with not confessing. What comes to mind when you don’t confess? With God, you may fear that you are too far gone for God to use you. It admits how broken you are. You may have a recognition that you do have issues that you’ve tried to ignore or gloss over. It’s scary to admit our weaknesses, but God’s strength can and will show up. His strength shows to help you overcome those battles and turn to progressing to be like Christ. With others, it’s a fear of judgment. It’s a fear of selfishness. It’s a fear of value, worrying that if someone rejects their asks you wouldn’t be as useful for them. It’s good to be honest overall. It’s not easy, because it begs discomfort. I guarantee, if you’re like me. You’ve thought of the worse case scenario already about what happens if your fears come true. Talking to God and others about them, will either affirm them or provide you a better path.

Second, challenge your thoughts. What happens if your fears come through? With God, we look to Scriptures to show us that a lot of fears are false. That they are a way for the evil spirits of the world to drive a wedge in our relationship with God. 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that God did not give us a spirit of fear, but power, love, and sound mind. Psalm 139:14 reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We know God guides us to still waters, rest in green pasture, restores our souls, and leads us down right paths. (Psalm 23:2-3). God is right there with us, step by step, to guide along the path that makes us reflect His son to the world. With others, if those fears came true, there are two outcomes I see. First, your relationship may grow closer. Second, your relationship may end. What would happen if it went well? You grow closer, get to know each other better, and can live authentically without fear of judgment. What happens if it doesn’t? Then you learned more about that person and recognize that they were never meant to be as close as you thought and hoped. The relationship may end and you’ve learned what you are truly looking for and need in a friend. It may hurt, but it will also create growth.

Third, take time to connect with your inner world. Prayer is the best way to talk with God about what’s going inside of you. Share everything that’s on your heart, both positive and negative. Share what’s creating that pressure and stress within you. Don’t safeguard it. Don’t not share something that YOU feel is small, because if it was – it wouldn’t be bothering you. Share it all. All yourself to pause and reflect on it. Seek God’s guidance to figure out what you need in all capacities. Learn what you do need, and what you don’t. Create ways that are sustainable and manageable for you to accomplish everything necessary. It doesn’t all have to be done in a day or in a moment, but as long as you push for progress each time – you’ll find yourself feeling more authentic.

Lastly, exposure: start doing it. It sounds simple, and difficult, all at the same time. However, it gets easier the more it’s done. It’s not even just being real with God or with others, but with yourself. You will start to recognize your own problems and instead of trying to stuff them down, you will instead push yourself to bring it to God and to others. You may still work through all possible outcomes (and it’s a definite if you suffer with an anxiety disorder like I do), but they will not have an impact on whether you push forward. You will still do it. You will do it scared. You will do it nervous. The main thing is – YOU ARE DOING IT. The more you do it, the less intense it gets.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How do you feel now about being more authentic all around? How can you implement plans to be more authentic to God and others?