Proverbs 29:25

NASB – The fear of man brings a snare, But one who trusts in the Lord will be protected.

NRSVUE – The fear of others lays a snare, but one who trusts in the Lord is secure.

VOICE – If you fear other people, you are walking into a dangerous trap; but if you trust in the Eternal, you will be safe.

Trusting People v. God

When we fear the opposition from other humans, as well as rejection and the loss of relational value, we can fall into disobedience – especially as believers into God’s command. Saul confessed that he rebelled against God because he feared the people and followed the crowd’s voice. When we lean into human opinion, we respond out of fear and ignore the power of God’s voice.

We are called to trust in God’s wisdom, power, faithfulness towards us, and His covenant promises. We should not trust in the changing circumstances of the world or approval of those around us. Israel repeated found rescue in depending on God, not people. Not through the military, politicians, or general public. Trusting in God produces obedience, even when it brings stress and suffering. God places His followers beyond the reach of those that threaten them. God is our refuge and fortress. This security doesn’t promise freedom from trouble that we have in the world, but it reminds us that God’s power cares for us and gives us confidence for an eternal outcome.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: When was a time you trusted people around you, and that trust was broken?

The Struggle With People-Pleasing

I think there’s something to be said about the argument between listening to others versus trusting God. A lot of people tend to put their trust in others for a variety of reasons over God, mainly due to the tangibility of it. Being able to talk to directly to another person, see their reactions, listen to their perspectives, and more can influence us more than a conversation to someone we cannot see and trust reasoning that only is felt by faith. However, Saul touches on something that I don’t often hear the church talk about: people-pleasing.

According to a survey from YouGov.com, 48% would self identify as people-pleasers. If you’ve not heard the term before, a people-please is one who “needs to please others for reasons that may include the fear of rejection, insecurities, and the need to be well-liked.” (PsychologyToday – link at the end of the blog). What are the signs of being a people-pleaser? It can show through low self-worth, goes with a flow that’s dictated by others, rarely says no, values praise from others, takes the blame when not at fault, and other descriptions. Typically, stemming from a fear of rejection or failure, or from troublesome relationships in early childhood.

For Saul, it reminds me of when the people had to chose him to be their king. When Samuel, went out to look for him, Through a process Saul was chosen, and as he was hiding. In 1 Samuel 10:22, it says Samuel was “hiding among the baggage.” What a response, right? Saul was nervous, anxious, afraid, fearful of the power, and so much more. The fact that he caved to the wants, demands, and desires of the Israelites instead of leading through how God commanded doesn’t sound surprising. Saul wanted to be liked. Saul wanted to prove to them that he could do the job, especially when others doubted Him. How many us have tried to prove ourselves to others in order to find acceptance? It may be a parent, a boss, a spouse, a friend, or even strangers on the internet – we will often strive to do the best to make sure others like us. When this happens, it’s often out of our human response to seek relationships, love, success, wealth, and more. The assumption is that we try to find upward movement in the standards held by the world.

When it comes to listening to God, God wants us to have the same things. However, He wants us to have a healthy understand as to why we want these things. God’s way of life is counter-cultural to much of what we see today, so it’s important to understand the why of it. In the same story with Saul, we learn that Saul will not work out as king. He was the people’s choice, but not God’s. We learn that God wants someone after His own heart. In comes King David, and the rest is history. The instructions that God gives to Samuel is something that I’m sure most of have heard: “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

God doesn’t judge by our appearance, but by our hearts. Why we do the things matters more than achieving the rewards from the world. We don’t need to do things to be liked, but to share love with our neighbor. We don’t need to do the things to receive awards and recognition, but to ensure that all people have an equal chance to succeed in life. The things that we do can result in these things, which is fine, but we must ensure that our baseline reason is that we are honoring God and caring for His creation.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How does people pleasing show up in your life, if it does at all?

Paul’s Battle

Paul names this so plainly in Galatians 1:10

NASB – For am I now seeking the favor of people, or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

NLT – Am I now seeking human approval or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would be not be a servant of Christ.

VOICE – Do you think I care about the approval of men or about the approval of God? Do you think I am on a mission to please people? If I am still spinning my wheels trying to please men, then there is no way I can be a servant of the Anointed One, the Liberating King.

Paul wouldn’t alter the message of Christ to satisfy the agenda of the teachers that insisted that Gentile believers must get circumcised or follow the Mosaic Law for salvation. The later got addressed at the Jerusalem council, which led to this central truth: sinners are saved by the grace of the Lord Jesus, not by religious works. Humans often want compromise, especially when the truth of the matter brings opposition. How Paul led didn’t give him a lot of public favor. It led to rejection, beatings, imprisonment, and persecution. However, his willing to suffer showed that served someone higher than anyone nearby him.

Before Paul’s interaction with Jesus, Paul was a true teacher of Judaism and strongly defended the ancient traditions that he believed honored God. After meeting Jesus, he could no longer go back to those old ways. Paul’s identity were managed by the same God who saved and commissioned him. We are called to seek God’s approval above the changing demands of people.

People pleasing can distort the message of the Gospel. A lot of Christians tend to throw this out there when we preach about the inclusivity of the LGBTQ+ people. People believe that we’re changing the message of the Bible in order to fit them into God’s people. However, this is not the case. We are changing the harmful teachings that Christianity as publicized in order to remove a people of a different lifestyle out of the image of God. That’s not people-pleasing, That’s giving people the ability to live as God created them. That’s giving people rights to be able to live within a community free of judgment. Back in the day, the focus was on procreation and emphasizing patriarchal lifestyles. Now, it’s about living healthy relationships, living equal lives, and creating life when only possible if wanted. That’s not about pleasing those peoples, but about adapting to current times. The Bible was written for a certain time and a certain place, but the core teachings are passed on to us. We’re not changing the teachings, but we may adapt how those teachings affected us today.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: What situations can avoid people-pleasing and focus on sharing God’s love to all people?

Half of self-described people-pleasers think being this way makes life harder

People-Pleasing | Psychology Today