Proverbs 15:23

NASB – A person has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!

NRSVUE – To make an apt answer is a joy to anyone, and a word is season, how good it is!

VOICE – There is great joy in having the right answer, and how sweet the right word at the right time!

Speak at the Right Time

Words that bring wisdom and truth also bring satisfaction. It serves both righteous behavior and providing kindness to your neighbor. A well chosen answer provides value, beauty, and is suited for the situation applicable. This type of speech comes from the heart, grounded in respect for God, not just off our own minds. Even truth can fail to help when it’s shared without discernment. God shows that there’s a time for silence and a time to speak, and wisdom recognizes both. These words can provide comfort, correction, courage, or peace. The goal is to speak wisely according to the need of the situation, offering grace where needed and rebuke where needed.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How do you check to see what words would help in any given moment? How do you control yourself when you cannot?

Reflecting God’s Tone

The idea of an apt answer or the right answer is important to this Proverb and I think is helpful to break down a little further because Christians struggle with this.

The Hebrew phrase used is ma’aneh (mah-an-eh’). It describes the weight of the words we use. Within the book of Proverbs, it’s used to describe how we can manage our anger, how timely and joyous it can be, how it comes from a divine source, and how it provides accountability. In Proverbs 16:23, it’s used to recognize the timeliness and joy of a situation. An apt answer brings mutual delight.

What does that mean for us? How can we provide apt answers in our lives regularly? An apt answer can defuse conflict. This doesn’t mean that we have to solve problems when they come to us. Sometimes listening to the conflict intentionally while responding with silence and self-reflection can be just as impactful. Ecclesiastes shows us that there’s a time for silence and a time to speak. Unfortunately, we speak in times when there should just be silence. We speak to break up the discomfort in having tough conversations about sensitive topics or about certain conflicts. We speak to immediate provide words of comfort, which ultimately comes across as toxic positivity. During times of conflict, we must use our words at the right time in the right place. God gifts us the power of discernment and wisdom to decide when to speak and when to silence.

Our responses can also be found in prayer. When we take a moment to pause and reflect, we are allow God the chance to impart His wisdom into us through our words and actions. When we take this time to pause and reflect, we allow the Spirit to work through us so we can extend God’s love, grace, and mercy to all people that we meet. We start to share with others what it means to have a relationship with God when this happens. If they get curious, we can share our testimonies with them and answer questions they might have when it comes to God. If they don’t ask, we don’t force it. Our actions and words are enough to show others what it’s like to be in a relationship with God. If people do not see the love, compassion, mercy, and justice through what you say and do – then it may be time to reflect on your relationship and see where you’ve been getting things wrong.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: What would it look like to you to reflect on how your words and actions align with God?

Understand God’s Timing

Let’s look deeper at Ecclesiastes 3:7 to understand the proper time for things:

NASB – A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak.

NRSVUE – A time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak;

VOICE – A time to tear apart, a time to bind together; a time to be quiet, a time to speak up;

We’re going to focus on 7b, “…a time to keep silent and a time to speak.” Silence can signify grief, worship, self-control, or patience on God. God teaches us to pause before His power dictates the next action. Speech is required when truth must be confessed, injustice is confronted, comfort is offered, or the gospel is shared. Jesus spoke with authority all throughout His time on earth, yet stayed silent when He was falsely accused during His trial.

Solomon gives us a clear-cut idea when it’s time to speak and a time of be silence. Silence allows for grief to exist. Grief is a valid emotion that we will all deal with at some point in life. Grief doesn’t call for comfort at all times. Grief allows us to sit and reflect in the sadness, the frustration, and the emptiness. Grief allows us to find closure and gives us the capacity to work forward into a new path of life. Silence allows for worship to happen. We pause in God’s presence and allow Him to wash over us. We don’t have to sing or pray out loud. We are setting ourselves aside from the world and allow God to impart His wisdom to us, take away the weights that we are carrying, and providing a place of peace and comfort in the middle of all of our stress. Silence allows for self-control to occur. Instead of responding on impulse to a decision, we pause and reflect. We give the decision to God and allow His wisdom to guide our next steps. No matter how much the decisions are something that we want, God’s ways are greater than our ways. We pause and wait for God to guide us on our next steps. We rely on God for all things in life, and allow His timing, His pace, and His wisdom to light our paths towards the next step.

We must speak when truth is needed to be share. Speaking our truth is not just about doing whatever we want without regarding anyone else. It’s about sharing the things that are on our heart, and speaking them with love and mercy. We share the truth when our boundaries are crossed. We share the truth when we witness others harming themselves or others. We share the truth when we fear an outcome that could happen. We speak when injustice occurs. One deserves to be treated lesser than another, especially from a Christian perspective. We are all created in God’s image, and the only one above us is God Himself. We are called to speak out on behalf of the marginalized to bring attention to the injustices happening to them and work to create systems based on love, compassion, and mercy so that way we can ensure all of God’s creation is getting the same care that we received from God. We speak when comfort is needed. Comfort provides us the ability to care for others. We comfort those in distress, in anxious times, in depressed moments, in grief, and more. We don’t just spew toxic positivity – sharing the pleasantries and cliches that we all hear. It’s about listening to the needs of what that person is walking through and responding accordingly. Don’t assume that you know what the person wants because we all need comfort in different ways. Intentionally listen and work to understand how we can provide that come for someone. It all boils down to how we share the Gospel. Are we sharing through our words or our actions? Our actions are called to reflect God’s character, leading with love and mercy. When we need to, we can use our words, but don’t go “preaching to someone” immediately. Allow conversations to happen naturally, and allow God to further grow the seeds that you are planting to mature on His time.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How do you perceive when to speak or when to be silent?

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