Church Conflict Resolution || Matthew 18:15-17 || Manna for the Mind #54

Welcome to Day 54 of the “Manna for the Mind” devotional series! This series is about taking scripture passages (typically 1-3 verses) and building our understanding of their teachings through their context and connecting scripture. I believe that doing this helps us understand how to be the type of human that God created us to be.

Our focus passage today is Matthew 18:15-17 with a focus on verse 15. We’ll talk about having tough conversations, forgiveness, and talking about your problems.

Matthew 18:15-17

15           “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person lists and confesses it, you have won that person back.

16           But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.

17           If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

These are Jesus’s guidelines for dealing with those who sin against us. These guidelines are designed for:

• Christians, not unbelievers.
• Sins committed against you and not others.
• Conflict resolution in the context of the church, not the community at large.

This passage is for Christians who have had sins committed against them in the context of the church’s functionality. This passage is not for dealing with everyone who has sinned against someone else regarding situations outside the church. This is for dealing with the church. This is for dealing with pastors and church leaders who have wronged you. This is for dealing with people in your small group who have gossiped about you.

These words aren’t a license to attack everyone who hurts or slights us. Jesus did not teach us to seek revenge. Jesus is giving us an orderly way to handle conflicts with increasing public accountability at each step. We should first appeal to the individual and their conscience. Meet with them to see where they are at in their level of interaction. If no progress is shown, you can call on other people who can be a third-party or general supporter. Start with one and increase as needed.

Jesus wants us to reconcile wherever conflict among believers threatens to damage relationships or the church community so that all can live in harmony. We turn away in hatred or resentment, seek revenge, or engage in gossip, verbal counterattacks, or smear campaigns. We should go to that person first, as difficult as they may be. Then we should forgive them. This may feel strange, even counterproductive, but it brings a profound sense of peace and relief. When I was going through my issues at my previous church of employment, I was hurt. I was mad. I was disappointed. I was frustrated. Yet, I was at peace. Why? I forgave them.

I didn’t do it for them. I did it for me. I did it to remove the hatred I felt. I did it to remove the pain I was feeling. I did it to allow grief to come in and come out. I was at peace at the end of the day. I was at peace before it even happened. My prayer was to seek forgiveness, allow truth to come out, and have justice restored at the end of the day. I wasn’t going to be an intentional force in any of it but a passive force allowing God to work in the way God needed to. Restoration was found somewhat in my first return to that church, where I was met with many positives and love from the community. Sure, some people didn’t give me the time of day, and I can fully comprehend and understand why. Yet, it didn’t matter. The love from the majority overcomes the dismissiveness from the minority. My anxiety didn’t make me aware of this until later on, but the truth was still there.

This concept was so good to teach that James, Jesus’ half-brother, also taught it.

James 5:19-20

19           My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back,

20           you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.

This passage talks about a believer who has fallen into a sinful lifestyle, meaning they are not living a life consistent with Christian beliefs. This could include behaviors such as dishonesty, greed, or sexual immorality. Many discussions have occurred over whether people can lose their salvation. Still, all interpreters agree that those who fall away from their faith are in serious trouble and must repent. Remember that this includes intentionality. Are you intentionally walking away from Christian beliefs and entering a lifestyle that rebels against Christianity?

James wants us to help those who have wandered from faith to return to God. By taking the initiative, praying for these people, and acting in love, we can meet them where they are and bring them back to God for his forgiveness. We do not want to wait until it’s too late. If you see a concern, gently and compassionately talk to them. Be honest and loving about what you must say to them, and close with a prayer to have God’s hand in the middle of the situation. You will not be the one to bring them back. You will plant the seed, but God will cultivate it with them, and the Holy Spirit will nudge them in the right direction. They might need additional help but do not force it on them. This is your opportunity to make a difference and be a part of their journey back to God.

James, overall, emphasizes faith in action. This means that our faith should not be a passive belief but an active force that guides our thoughts, words, and actions. Godly living is the evidence and result of one’s faith. We must serve with compassion, speaking lovingly and truthfully, and obey God’s command to one another. Do things for each other because you genuinely care about them, not because it’s something to tick off the Christianity checklist. Speak with love and truth. Lies do not help anything, and slander causes people not to listen. Obey God’s command. We have the source of strength and wisdom residing in all of us through the Holy Spirit. Love one in the way Christ loves us. This is faith in action.

The church should teach us these principles by example, drawing people to Christ through love for God and each other. If we truly believe God’s Word, we’ll live it daily. God’s word isn’t just something to read or think about but gives us something to do. How? Belief, faith, and trust require hands and feet – ours. May we go out and share this with others!

I want to close with scripture as our prayer today. It goes back to the church’s conflict resolution concept, but I want to expand it a little. Returning to the Old Testament, the teaching of Jesus was present then. It talks about your relatives, meaning your brothers and sisters in Christ. I want you to keep this teaching close to your heart. It’s Leviticus 19:17, which says:

17           “Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives. Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin.