Exodus 20:14

14          “You shall not commit adultery.

The Seventh Commandment

This is another one that I was taught that was pretty matter of fact. I always understood this to mean “do not cheat on your spouse.” There was, and is, sanctity to the marriage covenant, and anyone who violated it was seen to be guilty of an immense sin. Covenants are highly valued all throughout the Bible and violating them was a serious offense.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How do you view the seventh commandment?

Adultery Focuses on Sexual Relationships

This is an intentional act being described here. (Although – not sure if adultery can be considered unintentional, but that’s my opinion.) It’s an intentional act to violate the marriage covenant, like I believed earlier. Adultery is defined as: a sexual relationship between a married person and someone who is not their spouse. This is important to understand because when we question, or at least when I question, how adultery can be unintentional, is because the explicit definition of a sexual relationship. Strictly speaking, the commandment addresses the sexual intercourse that violates the marriage covenant. However, the Bible invites us to look deeper at the attitudes and patterns that move in that direction – including the emotional entanglements and objectifying others.

In the ancient Israelite culture, this was a major sin and can be punishable by death:

Leviticus 20:10           If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

The fact that the punishment of this is death shows how much of sin it truly was. Covenants between two people mattered just as much as covenants between God and his children. You are making a serious commitment to your spouse to say: “I will love you until death do us part.” When that is broken, then we begin to see the death of a relationship. We begin to see the death of parents sharing a household and being there for their children. We begin to see the death of a household that no longer feels safe because of this broken covenant. It’s happening increasingly nowadays where people rush into a sexual relationship, chasing the dopamine of how sexual activity makes one feel without understanding the deeper mental, emotional, and spiritual side effects. Now, I am not here to tell you what to do. I am only sharing what I have learned and understood over the years of studying. I recommend not to rush into a sexual relationship unless you are planning to enter into a marriage covenant. Make sure the one you have a sexual relationship with is one you trust and one that you plan to be with long term. Different Christians view sexual ethics in different ways, but however we view it – the heart of these presses forward to consent, honesty, faithfulness, and the protection of vulnerable people.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Learning that this commandment focuses on sexual relationships, how does that change your perspective on this commandment?

Don’t Even Think About It

Jesus changes this up a little in His Sermon on the Mount. Listen to what He says in Matthew 5:27-28:

27          “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’;

28          but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Jesus warns against even looking at a woman with lust. No one should look at another person with an intense want to have them or be with them. This command also pushes us to challenge any use of sexuality that exploits, coerces, or silences someone – especially when there are power differences – because that betrays covenant and the image of God in them. Relationships should be built on mutuality. If someone is taken, then we need to train our minds that we are permanently unable to be with them unless something changes on their end in the future. Feeling attracted to someone is not the same as sin; Jesus is targeting the kind of desire that treats someone – especially someone already in a relationship as an object to be taken, instead of a person to be honored. We need to train our minds to focus on what we can and cannot have. We cannot just go after something or someone just because we want it. God trains our minds to focus on what we have and what is reasonable. We need to submit our thoughts to God, especially the ones about what we want, and allow God to make the final decision. To be able to allow Him to tell us no. To allow Him to retrain our minds to take it off lust and focus on something more beneficial to the plan He has for us.

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: How does Jesus’ teaching of lust change this commandment for you?

Next part: Stealing and Community Trust || I Command You || Part 8