Where Have I Been?

So it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I know it’s not right of me to go away for this long and not talk about it. It’s not fair to the community we’ve built throughout 2020, which by the way, is almost up to 60 followers here on WordPress! That blows me away that people are taking the time to subscribe to my blogs, and for that, I want to thank you! Even if you checked out just one blog or have been here since the start. I appreciate you giving any time out of your day.

I know people will say that I don’t need to explain why I’ve been gone for so long. Part of me wasn’t even going to write this. I felt like that wasn’t right. I’m not sure how long this explanation will be or how cohesive it will sound, but here’s my answer to the title question: “Where Have I Been?”

2021 has been a roller coaster for me. Nothing compared to 2020, but enough to make me stop a lot of what I’ve been doing. In the first blog this year, I mentioned that my goal for 2021 was to get stronger on all fronts: physically, mentally, and spiritually. I didn’t put together that to get stronger. I would need to know what my weaknesses are. The first quarter of this year was just that. God exposed me for lack of a better term. Between the work and sessions with my therapist, we’ve been able to uncover many things that I’ve been dealing with that I knew both were and were not a problem.

This journey has opened my eyes, overwhelmed me, panicked me, increased my anxiety and depression, but I said I had to know my weaknesses before I could get stronger. I’m in a much better place now than before, which is always great to say. I’ve learned a lot over these past three months that has led to some complex changes and favorable benefits. I’m still walking through this journey, though, but it’s been a great start in hitting my goal. I’m not going to talk about what those changes are or what those exposures have been because that’s something that even though I’m usually transparent, you don’t need to know. (part of this recovery process XD). I’m one for oversharing, and I’m trying to work on that as well. Above that, I don’t know how comfortable I am sharing these revelations with you yet. Not that I don’t trust you guys, but I’m still struggling with accepting some of these changes yet, and telling you guys would be a way to confirm them.

Along with my struggles mentally, work got to an overwhelming point. We’re still not in-person when I’m writing this (March 10), so I’m still managing our online ministry. I wanted the start of our ministerial year to be a soft launch. To take January and decide what we’re doing for 2021, it started that way, but then it became crazier with managing that and two other projects. Along with some other struggles, it’s been a lot, in all honesty. Thankfully my Pastor, my SPRC representative, and I have been in open communication to discuss different facets of what 2021 has thrown at me and progress positively through them. Thankfully, I took a vacation the week as I was writing this and closed the door on all the open projects I had, which is unusual to me. Things are waiting for me when I return, but I’m learning not to worry about that now. I mean, Matthew 6:34, right? (Look it up to get the reference if you need it).

In summary, life has been a lot this year. It’s been overwhelming, frustrating, anxious, depressing, and more, but I feel better. I am getting better. I’m glad to be back with you guys. Expect weekly blogs from now until June-July (all I have currently planned so far) that will be a tad different, but ones I think you will enjoy. Next week, we start a brand-new series called “Jacob’s Family Tree.” It’s a series that looks deeper at the blessings Jacob gave to each of his sons. I hope you guys will like it.

Overall, thank you for being patient with me and for praying for me. This community has an important place in my heart and will hope to make all of you proud and give you some quality content. I’ll see you next week for the opener of “Jacob’s Family Tree.” Stay blessed!