“Leave Me Alone” by NF || Worship With Me #23

Welcome back to my latest music review series, “Worship with Me.” This series introduces you to new worship music that you might have heard before. My goal is to connect with you through worship and to build your relationship with God in ways that you might not have tried.

This week, our worship song is Leave Me Alone by NF. NF is a Christian rapper who uses grit and emotional authenticity to connect with his audience and God. He doesn’t do much promotion or social media posting about his music, which has led to his fame, which comes from the connection his lyrics make with his fans. He uses his music as an escape and expression, a way to channel the pain he’s experienced. He doesn’t label himself as a Christian rapper to allow his fans to view him objectively without the Christian stigma that has developed today.

I remember coming across him in my search for building my Christian music playlist and was a little baffled. At that point, I had never thought that rap and gospel music could connect, yet he did. In my years of battling my anxiety, his music has been just as he intended. It’s been a channel for me to shout my struggles. It’s been a way for me to feel connected to another Christian who was struggling with mental health, especially with the stigmatized discussion of it within the church walls. I was listening to this song before writing this and immediately felt sucked into the vibe and into the words that this song has. Let’s get into it.

I could not find a direct interview with NF that talks about the meaning of this song. Still, there seems to be a common thread among others who have dissected this song: this song talks about his mental health and the sudden rise of fame he had. It talks about that, mixed in with his feelings of self-hatred and the struggles with his OCD. With my struggles with anxiety and panic attacks, I have been able to connect with the message of the song. Hear these words:

Yeah, yeah, mental health, where’s my mental health?

Diagnosed with OCD, what does that mean? Well, gather ‘round

That means I obsessively obsess on things I think about

That means I might take a normal thought and think it’s so profound (Leave me alone)

Ruminating, filled balloons full of doubts

Do the same things, if I don’t, I’m overwhelmed (Leave me alone)

Thoughts are pacing; they go ’round and ’round and ’round

It’s so draining, let’s move onto something else, fine (Leave me alone)

Now, I am not diagnosed with OCD, but I do believe I struggle with it in some capacity. OCD is an anxiety disorder, so here’s where the bridge is connected for me. To obsessively obsess over the thoughts that run through my head is something I do constantly. I overthink most things, thinking about every possible situation, perspective, and response that could happen and then attempting to prepare my responses to those responses. It’s intense, overwhelming, and makes me believe I’m crazy. Yet, to hear him become transparent about his struggles reminds me I’m not alone. God will put people in your path that will guide you through the season you’re on. We often talk about that from a physical perspective. Still, I believe there will be artists, influencers, preachers, athletes, or someone else that we might never get to see that will give some wisdom applicable to the season you are in. God gives us a spirit of discernment through the Holy Spirit to allow us to hear what is truly from him and through the world.

That’s where I connect with the song. How do you connect with it? Let me know below. If you don’t, I want you to listen to the song every day this week and see if the Holy Spirit speaks to you through it. I can’t wait to hear the stories. Until then, stay blessed!