Pain and Grief Won’t Stop You || Life is Worth Living || Part 2

Welcome back to the “Life is Worth Living” Bible study. This series is about suicidal awareness in honor of Suicide Awareness Month. I’m showcasing six stories from the Bible that talk about suicide and suicidal ideations, how the Bible talks about it, and what we can learn from it. For transparency purposes and potential trigger warnings, here is the list of people we’re covering in this series:

• #1 – Judas (Matthew 27:3-8)
• #2 – Job (Job 3:11, 20-22)
• #3 – Moses (Numbers 11:10-17)
• #4 – Elijah (1 Kings 19:3-8)
• #5 – Jonah (Jonah 4:3-10)
• #6 – The Jailor (Acts 16:27-34)

In Part 1, we discussed Judas, the disciple who betrayed Jesus. We talked about the guilt, shame, and remorse he felt and how the church turned its back on him. We left with the reminder from John 14:27 and the belief that there is a loving God who will walk with you in your path of recovery and wrestle with the consequences that come your way. God has the ultimate victory over everything, and we can rest and find peace in that.

In Part 2, we’ll discuss Job’s story and the intense grief he experienced. Before we get into things, let me share some disclaimers.

• I AM NOT A THERAPIST, PSYCHOLOGIST, PSYCHIATRIST. I have an extensive knowledge of mental health understandings and biblical connections, and I want to share my own testimony and knowledge of how we can understand and wrestle with the topic of suicide from a theological perspective.
• IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR IDEATIONS, please contact your local helpline or seek a trusted person/counselor to walk alongside you:
  • You can call or text 988
  • You can call 911
  • You can reach the crisis text line by text at 741-741
  • If you’re outside of the US, please check out this Wikipedia link for resources in your country: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Today’s foundational scripture is Job 3:11 and Job 3:20-22, which I’ll share altogether.

Job 3:11, 20-22

AMP	NLT	MSG
11 “Why did I not die at birth, Come forth from the womb and expire?	11 “Why wasn’t I born dead? Why didn’t I die as I came from the womb?	11 Why didn’t I die at birth, my first breath out of the womb my last?

AMP	NLT	MSG
20 “Why is the light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter in soul.	20 “Oh, why give light to those in misery, and life to those who are bitter?	20-22 “Why does God bother giving light to the miserable, why both keeping bitter people alive, Those who want in the worst way to die, and can’t, who can’t imagine anything better than death, Who count the day of their death and burial the happiest day of their life?
21 Who wait for death, but it does not come, And dig (search) for death more [diligently] than for hidden treasures.	21 They long for death, and it won’t come. They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure.
22 Who rejoice exceedingly, And rejoice when they find the grave?	22 They’re filled with joy when they finally die, and rejoice when they find the grave.

Job was experiencing intense physical pain and grief over the loss of children and possessions. What happened to him, you ask? Let’s talk about Job 1 and 2.

Job was a blameless man. He feared God and avoided evil. He had seven sons and three daughters, owned many animals, had many servants, and was considered the richest person in the area. He practiced purification and burnt offering rituals regularly. Satan came in and asked if he could test Job, which God agreed to but only with his possessions. He must not be harmed physically. This resulted in raiders killing off his animals, burning his sheep, stealing his camels, and his kids dying from an intense storm. With all this that happened, he did not blame God for his troubles.

Satan came back to God, asking for another test. God agreed to it as long as he didn’t die from it. Satan struck Job with terrible boils head to foot, but he wouldn’t blame God, even when his wife and friends encouraged him to.

Job is dealing with all this at the hands of Satan and still believes in God. He’s experiencing intense pain and immense grief and still believes in God. You can’t blame him for wishing for death. Job’s grief placed him at the crossroads of his faith, shattering many misconceptions about God. This happens to us when we’re experiencing intense grief and chaos. We think that following God will be all sunshine and roses, and when a thorn or darkness crosses our path, we question God and sow seeds of unbelief. Job believed God would make him materially wealthy, keep you from trouble and pain, and always protect your loved ones. He watched all these things get undone in the blink of an eye and still wouldn’t curse God. Job had to go back to the basics of his faith and recognized he had two choices: curse God and give up, or trust God and draw on his strength to continue.

We often face these crossroads in our pain and grief. We question why God would allow this, and we wrestle with the same tension. We get told that “God will never give you more than you can handle” or “God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers,” but these aren’t accurate quotes and promote toxic positivity because of this. That also hurts our situation and causes us to drive further into the pit of giving up, but I’m reminded of this scripture. (Again, I don’t use scripture as a cure-all, but as a nugget of wisdom to help me continue.)

John 15:18-19

18          “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first.

19          The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.

There was a verse about how following Jesus wouldn’t be easy, but this one feels more appropriate. The pain and grief that happen to us are caused by God. They are responses to our decisions, situations in our lives, and random happenstance. God created these emotions, though. God creates good things, so he knows how to use these emotions for God even if they don’t feel good. In my experience, they’ve been centered on being able to share my testimony with others on how God has helped me through tough times. Through my sinful actions and grief, God was able to walk with me through the shadow of the valley to a place of peace, respite, and rest.

This sounds very cookie-cutter and very “easier said than done.” It’s not easy. It takes time and work from sources of strength that feel invisible. God has given us the Holy Spirit, a source of strength that lives inside of us to help us keep going. The Holy Spirit will guide us towards people and resources that help in our times of pain and grief and be a source of encouragement and compassion to fight through it. Satan doesn’t win. God does. I pray you can find the strength to keep going and to surround yourself with loving individuals who can walk with you in the journey with God and get through the other side to share your story.

In Part 3, we’ll discuss Moses’s wishes of death from overwhelming work. Until then, stay blessed.