Asking for Help is Not Weak || Life is Worth Living || Part 3

Welcome to Part 3 of our “Life is Worth Living” Bible study! This series is in honor of Suicide Awareness Month happening. I have found six stories in the Bible that talk about people asking God to die, wishing they would die, and the intense feelings that fall in between. I want to share their story and discuss how God can help us when we feel like they did. Some disclaimers before today’s blog begins:

• I AM NOT A THERAPIST, PSYCHOLOGIST, PSYCHIATRIST. I have an extensive knowledge of mental health understandings and biblical connections, and I want to share my own testimony and knowledge of how we can understand and wrestle with the topic of suicide from a theological perspective.
• IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR IDEATIONS, please contact your local helpline or seek a trusted person/counselor to walk alongside you:
  • You can call or text 988
  • You can call 911
  • You can reach the crisis text line by text at 741-741
  • If you’re outside of the US, please check out this Wikipedia link for resources in your country: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

In each part, I will provide a complete list of the people we’re talking about and where their stories can be found. I do this to provide transparency and a trigger warning for those sensitive to this topic. I will also begin to provide a 1-2 sentence synopsis of those parts for continuity purposes.

• Part 1:   Judas (Matthew 27:3-8)
  • Judas felt remorseful about what he did to Jesus, and the church that encouraged him had turned their backs on him. God reminds us that nothing is too big for his mercy to cover, and peace can be found in the middle of the struggle.
• Part 2:   Job (Job 3:11, 20-22)
  • Job felt immense grief at the loss of his possessions and the death of his kids at the hands of Satan’s testing. However, he never turned his back on God, even when his close ones encouraged him. God reminds us that the world will throw a lot of battles our way, but the battle is not lost with God guiding our path.
• Part 3:  Moses (Numbers 11:10-17)
• Part 4:   Elijah (1 Kings 19:3-8)
• Part 5:   Jonah (Jonah 4:3-10)
• Part 6:   The Jailor (Acts 16:27-34)

Today’s passage lands us in the book of Numbers to help us understand the overwhelming work of Moses.

Numbers 11:10-17

AMP	NLT	MSG
10 Now Moses heard the people weeping [in self-pity] throughout their families, every man at the doorway of his tent; and the anger of the Lord blazed hotly, and Moses regard their behavior as evil.	10 Moses heard all the families standing in the doorways of their tent whining, and the Lord became extremely angry. Moses was also very aggravated.	10 Moses heard the whining, all those families whining in front of their tents. God’s anger blazed up. Moses saw that things were in a bad way.
11 So Moses said to the Lord, “Why have You been so hard on Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have placed the burden of all these people on me?	11 And Moses said to the Lord, “Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people?	11-15 Moses said to God, “Why are you treating me this way? What did I ever do to you to deserve this? Did I conceive them? Was I their mother? So why dump the responsibility of this people on me? Why tell me to carry them around like a nursing mother, carry them all the way to the land you promised to their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people who are whining to me, ‘Give us meat; we want meat.’ I can’t do this by myself – it’s too much, all these people. If this is how you intend the treat me, do me a favor and kill me. I’ve seen enough; I’ve had enough. Let me out of here.”
12 Was it I who conceived all these people? Was it I who brought them forth, that You should say to me, ‘Carry them in your arms as a nurse carries the nursing infant, to the land which You swore to their fathers’?	12 Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors?
13 Where am I to get meat to give to all these people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, so that we may eat.’	13 Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, ‘Give us meat to eat!”
14  I am not able to carry all these people carry all these people alone, because the burden is too heavy for me.	14 I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy!
15 So if this is the way You are going to deal with me, please kill me at once, if I have found favor in your sight, and do not let me see my wretchedness.”	15 If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”
16 Accordingly, the Lord said to Moses, “Gather for Me seventy men from among the elders of Israel whom you know to be the elders of the people and their offers; bring them to the Tent of Meeting (tabernacle) and let them stand there with you.	16 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Gather before me seventy men who are recognized as elders and leaders of Israel. Bring them to the Tabernacle to stand there with you.	16-17 God said to Moses, “Gather together seventy men from among the leaders of Israel, men whom you know to be respected and responsible. Take them to the Tent of Meeting. I’ll meet you there. I’ll come down and speak with you. I’ll take some of the Spirit that is on you and place it on them; they’ll then be able to take some of the load of this people – you won’t have to carry the whole alone.
17 Then I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take away some of the Spirit who is upon you, and will put Him upon them; and they shall bear the burden of people with you, so that you will not have to bear it all alone.	17 I will come down and talk to you there. I will take some of the Spirit that is upon you, and I will put the Spirit upon them also. They will bear the burden of the people along with you, so you will not have to carry it alone.

When Moses became overwhelmed by the burden of leading the people, God surrounded him with others qualified to help carry the load. God didn’t take Moses out of that position, and God won’t take us out of that position either, which means we must protect ourselves from being overwhelmed with our workload. We must develop ways to manage it effectively or surround ourselves with others who can help shoulder the load. In Moses’s case, one person can’t do leadership alone. It takes a community.

I want to talk specifically about the highlighted verses. Here they are again from the NLT:

14           I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy!

15           If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”

Moses was surrounded by people who were whining, which can be emotionally draining. It’s difficult mentally to continuously hear the complaints and concerns of the people around us, especially if we’re in a position that responds to them through helpful actions. Moses was the only one in the village who was capable and qualified to handle this position. He took their continuous whining as a punishment delivered by God. Asking, “What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? (11b)”

I empathize with being in a leadership position in the church before. Sometimes the days were rough. I remember one day having a full-on emotional breakdown after all our programming was finished. I was emotionally spent. I don’t remember how I was feeling before our programming began, but the kids wore me down. They pushed every button I had, tapped-danced on every nerve I had, and everything in between. It was our middle-school kids, our un-churched kids, our kids who didn’t know stability at home. I asked a similar question to Moses and learned that I just needed a break. I still did my work as the next week came around, but I took the next day (or was told the next day off) and felt better. Unfortunately, Moses couldn’t.

Moses spiraled, comparing his job to that of a parent. He’s trying his best to provide for them, and all he gets in return is complaining and whining. That’s got to feel insulting and insensitive to him. He’s doing his best, and this is his response to what his best was like. It gives me an understanding as to why he’d say in verses 14 and 15 that he’d rather be dead.

How many of us have felt unappreciated for our work? How many have felt disrespected because others didn’t acknowledge our work? How many of us have felt taken advantage of because of our work ethic? How many of us have felt betrayed by the people we work for and towards? I’m sure we all have said yes to one of those questions. Moses had reached a breaking point. He reached a point where he said, “I cannot do this alone.” Whether it be with your work, family, relationships, ministries, and more. The world has taught us to be individualistic, to do this my way, to ignore others because they’ll only bring you down, to do you. The problem with that is that God didn’t create us to do life alone. I’m not even going to bring up Genesis 2 and the proto-typical response that Eve created because of that. I do want to share with you, though, a verse passage that shows what a community of believers should look like.

Acts 4:32-35

32           All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had.

33           The apostles testified powerfully to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God’s great blessing was upon them.

34           There were no needy people among them because those who owned land or houses would sell them

35           and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need.

A community of believers should be willing to do whatever it takes to help those around us. One person should not suffer because of the excess that we have. This, though, comes with a vulnerable task. Will you share with others that you need help? Will you be vulnerable to say I cannot handle things alone right now? It’s a scary task to say this, which I’m sure Moses felt. It’s fearful to say because we might be in a position or have a standing or reputation that says, “You handled this before, why is this time different?” Yet, this is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help is one of the biggest ways to show how strong you are. Asking for help swallows that pride or fear that you had. It adds in compassion and love to see the community around us coming to help us in whatever way possible. If you don’t have that community, know that God is always right there with you. You aren’t alone at any point, and God will guide you and place people in your path that will help you. You deserve that help, too. You might not feel like it at the moment, but you do. You might feel like you failed, disappointed others, or ruined your life because you couldn’t live up to the unrealistic standards you, or the world, set for you. God sees you through those spirals and asks you to talk to him about your feelings. You will find that the grace and mercy of God cover it all. Your relationship with God matters the most, for it will reflect your relationships here on earth.

Moses had his flaws. Moses had unrealistic expectations. Moses had his fear of failure. Moses is human, just like you and me. God responds in love to him and responds in love to us. God told Moses to gather 70 men who were elders and leaders of Israel, and God placed the Holy Spirit upon them to help bear the burden Moses felt. Verse 17b says, “They will bear the burden of the people along with you, so you will not have to carry it alone.”

God didn’t take the burden away from Moses but divided it so that a group could carry it. God won’t take our burdens away, but he will lead us to people with whom we share that burden. There are things in life we have to do ourselves, but we can talk to people about our feelings about it. We can celebrate the highs with others and discuss the lows with others. We can ask people to pray for us as we struggle through our tasks. We can ask people to help figure out a step I’m struggling with. We can do this! Life wasn’t meant to be done alone, but in community with those who love, trust, and care for us as we are and encourage and motivate us to be the best version of ourselves that God created us to be.

The passage that helped me wrestle with these feelings is one of the classic “bumper-sticker” scriptures.

Matthew 11:28-30

28           Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

29           Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

30           For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I gave you is light.

Moses was weary. Moses had enough. Moses responded to the ways of God and found his burden lighter. Most of us feel weak and crushed by the weight of life. If we follow the ways of God, we will find rest. How? By doing the works of life in the way that God teaches. God’s way is gentle and offers humility, allowing our souls to rest. His way of life is easy to manage, and the burdens he gives us are light and easy to carry. There will still be burdens, but God teaches us how to manage them efficiently. Before Jesus, the Israelites had 613 laws to follow and abide by (a monumental task for Moses). After Jesus, there were two. Love God will all of who we are and love our neighbor as Jesus loved us. 2 laws are a lot lighter to carry than 613 of them.

I hope you found hope and peace in this blog. Next week, we will jump to Elijah’s story and see how a nap and a snack overcame his wish for death. Until then, stay blessed!