Ephesians 4:32

NASB – Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

NLT – Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiven one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

VOICE – Instead, be kind and compassionate. Graciously forgive one another just as God has forgiven you through the Anointed, our Liberating King. 

Act Like God Acts to You

Kindness describes active goodwill and a readiness to help others. Compassionate / tenderhearted describes a deep, compassionate empathy that reflects the heart of God. In the Greco-Roman culture that Ephesians was written in, these characteristics were viewed as weaknesses. Similar to forgiveness, which was countercultural due to honor and shame dictating personal interactions. Forgiveness describes a gracious pardon, not based on actions but on grace. All these virtues should be given to others in the same way God gives them to us. It stems through Jesus’s sacrificial work on the cross, which led to our reconciled relationship with God. It also empowers us to extend that reconciliation to others.  

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: Which do you find easy to extend to others? Which do you find most difficult?

Treating Others as God Treats You

I want to dig into these three actions Paul describes here: kindness, compassionate / tenderheartedness, and forgiveness. 

“Kind” is the Greek adjective chréstos (khray-stos’). It’s a type of kindness that proves itself through usefulness, suitability, and gracious favor. Paul describes it as a relational foundation of how Christians should act towards humanity, mirroring God’s action towards His people. Our acts of kindness are shown through how useful our actions are, how suitable they are given the situation, and how gracious we act while doing that behavior for that person. We don’t do it because we HAVE to, but we do it because we GET to. It’s a command rooted in God’s grace, and it’s a Spirit-formed practice. Our kindness should be useful for them, meaning we don’t portray it as toxic positivity, but we do it to provide a help and a benefit to them. Kind acts need to be beneficial for them and are something that works for them, not something that works for us. All of this is how we reflect God’s love to all that we meet. 

“Compassionate/Tenderhearted” is the Greek adjective eusplagchnos (yoo-SPLANGKH-nos). It describes this sensitivity that moves us towards acts of mercy. It’s a movement led by the Holy Spirit that allows us to feel the misery of another as one’s own and act to relieve it. I’ve talked about this before actually, but from a perspective of what happens when we feel so much compassion for the hardships and stressors going on with those around us and in the world. Compassion fatigue is a real thing that often happens to caregivers, nurses, and those in the medical field, but it’s something that a lot more people are facing nowadays with the consistent worldwide injustices that are happening before us. The one thing that I’ve had to remind myself in this situation is that I have to remember that I am not the only one fighting these fights. I’m not the one carrying the weight of solving wealth inequality, equal rights for marginalized communities, pushing for the wars in Palestine and Ukraine to stop, and more. I have to utilize the gifts and talents that I have to best push for God’s love and justice for all peoples. Now, this is a grander scale, but we can apply this to our local communities. What do you see people asking for? What do you see people yearning for? When you start to hear about the needs in your community, then you can work to see how you can help them. Team up with others to utilize the totality of gifts to best create the best outcome. 

“Forgiving” is the Greek verb “khar-id’-zom-ahee”. It’s a voluntary, positive act that comes from a choice. It brings together three concepts: freely giving a gift, remitting a debt or penalty, and graciously granting a request. The goal is to offer the same reconciliation that God has given us for our sinful behavior. Forgiveness is a massive concept that the Bible teaches. It’s the foundation of our relationship with God, through the sacrificial acts of Jesus. It allows us to not carry the weight of our sinful behavior around with us and it can be worked on, so that we can become more Christ-like. When it comes to the behavior of others, we must remember that 1) we are fallen and broken people and 2) we are human. The combination of these things tends to be the bare-bones foundation of most arguments and miscommunications. Now these can lead to harmful behaviors, words, and thoughts that can cause real pain, stress, and discomfort for those involved. Forgiveness might be the last thing on your mind depending on the situation that happened. However, forgiveness can still be a place where you can reset your heart. It’s a place that allows the acceptance of what happened, good or bad. It’s a place that recognizes the pain and suffering that happened. It’s a place that allows you to move forward, especially in situations of abuse and neglect where reconciliation may not be effective. When safe and mutual, reconciliation can be the best outcome, but forgiveness and safety are not the same thing. A kind, compassionate response is often the healthiest starting point.. To treat the situation with love and kindness, allowing you to feel what’s needed, talking about what’s needed, and preparing an outcome that allows you to move forward. 

REFLECTION CHECKPOINT: What do you need to work on sharing with others: kindness, compassion, or forgiveness? Why?